Files to View and Print

The documents described here are available from the site. (You will need a PDF reader, which is typically available on any computer. Click here to visit Adobe's site and download the program if needed.) Just click on the key word below and your PDF program will open the file. From there you can view the document or print it. The documents are copyrighted, but my clients are authorized to print a copy for their own personal use.

before your first session

Client Agreement

This document specifies the formal side of our working relationship. It clarifies my fees, payment arrangements, my cancellation policy, and the rules around confidentiality. Please review the material and ask any questions you might have. I will need a signed copy of this form from you in the first session.

The Intake Form

This 3-page worksheet will help get us off to a good start. It asks some basic questions about the concerns bringing you into therapy as well as about some symptoms you might not think to mention.  Please print it and fill it out as completely as you can.

some helpful Resources

Therapy Overview

This one-page summary provides a kind of "map" for the process of therapy. I often use it to help my clients understand where we are and what's coming up. Since I'm often asked for a copy, I've made it available here.

The Big Lists

These two pages list the 8-9 main areas that all couples will have to navigate and negotiate. They can have no conversation about these topics and stumble upon big differences when their (unspoken) expectations collide, often resulting in a fight or power struggle. Or, couples can choose to talk early on about each area and note, discuss, and negotiate differences between them.

This handout provides a springboard for those hopefully enlightening conversations, and includes the behind-the-scenes influences that may effect each area. Just because couples love each other is no guarantee that they'll agree on who takes out the garbage, how often to have dinner with "your mother," or how much money "we should" set aside for retirement.

Effective Sexual Communication

A one page statement of the most important principles for talking about sexuality. Even sitting down with your partner and walking through the list is likely to open up communication about sexuality!

Myths About Sex

This page summarizes the major myths about sexuality in our culture. There is probably more misinformation and distortion around our sexuality than any other facet of adult life. Just going over the list with your partner may allow you to acknowledge some of the beliefs you have grown up with ... and want to change.

Talking About Sex with Kids

Parents often are unsure how and when to talk about sexuality with their children. So the most common parental conversation is none at all. This page gives you some useful pointers on how to have this important conversation. And you do not have to be an expert to do it well. Most of all, kids need to know they can ask. If you don't know the answers, you can still demonstrate a willingness to admit the gaps in your knowledge, and to help them find the answers.

Quotes about Sex

This one page gives you some provocative and insightful statements by various leaders in the field. Sharing it with a partner -- or with your kids -- may jump start a conversation you have been wanting to have.

Presentations

Sexual Communication: talking about the hard stuff

[Click for slides]

Communications about our sexuality seems especially challenging for most people. Whether it's telling our partner what we really want, giving voice to fantasies, sharing old traumas, or dealing with the effects of aging, talking about sex requires more than the usual communication skills and attitudes.

In this May 2007 presentation to the Annual State Conference of the California Assoc of Marriage and Family Therapists, Susan Hennings and Jerry Talley highlighted the keys to effective sexual communication as well as the rules for connecting and "flirting" well.